Oh and damn you Justin Timberlake. Everytime I think of that phrase, it is Justin Timberlake singing it to me in my head. Ruiner!
Anyway, in addition to diet books, I like to read other self help nonsense. I picked up Deepak Chapora's book, The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire at the FIRC awhile back. Since last week, I half-heartedly have been applying his psuedo-Hindu principles to my life.
In order to get my synchrodestiny going, I am commanding the universe to allow me to win the Powerball. In order to help the universe along in opening up my true destiny as a white(ish) trash lottery winner, I am republishing my open letter to the Powerball Jackpot that I wrote a few months back. Yes, it is coming right back at you.
Have you already read it? Well, have a heart and read it again. I think the more people that read it, the better the chances the Cosmos will figure out that I need a flashy car, mink undies and a gold grill.
Do it already!
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Dear Powerball Jackpot,
Hi there gorgeous. Its Lori. I just wanted to let you know that I am a little hurt about the way you have been treating me. Was it something I said?
Oh PJ, I know we have not been very close in the past and we have never had a serious relationship, but I want you to know that I am tired of your teasing. You really know how to keep me coming back for more. But I have to tell you, this little game you play makes me feel used and cheapened.
I cannot tell you the countless nights I have spent waiting anxiously to see if you would show me your love. Sure, there was that one time when you hooked up with three of my numbers, but it is not enough. I need to know what it feels like to be one with you-- to have you all to myself. Enough with these casual encounters!
I'm sorry if I sound desperate. It is just that I don't understand you. From what I have seen, all of your past serious relationships have been with losers. You deserve better.
I want to show you the finer things in life. Good food, fine wine and exotic vacations. I promise I will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. I want you to have it all-- and I promise you that if someday, we do take it to the next level, I will not share you with another.
Think about it. You are always in my fantasies!
