My Momma is Gonna be Proud of Me

My mom was telling everyone on Sunday (at our Mother's day luncheon) about how a million and a half years ago I won a ribbon at church camp for "CAMPER WITH THE BEST SMILE." I am not making this up. She was telling the story like I had won the Noble Prize or was appointed to the damn Supreme Court. Hello? I was eleven and I have done one or two things since then that are a little more (in my opinion) noteworthy. Is that all you got? Really?  I must be super lame. The hilarious part is that she kept saying I was "nominated" for the award. And I am like-- was I just nominated or did I actually win? Because I think that to be first runner up to "Best Smile" is really not that impressive. Winning such a prestigious award on the other hand . . . She claims I won.  I am going to have to verify all of this in the scrapbook annals.

So anyway, today I thought "what the hell?" I will just award myself to make up for my apparent lack of achievement these past 30 years. Give my mom something to brag about.
 
Before I get on to the formal presentation, I must set this up:

At the mother's day lunch, we had tons of fresh vegetables. On Monday, I turned the leftovers into a delicious chicken pot pie. I even made the crust. Very Martha of me. So I awarded myself.

Drum-roll please.

Since I used leftovers, I gave myself a green ribbon too. Mother nature is smiling sweetly at me.

Now my mom can say "That Lori is such a good cook. In fact, her chicken pot pie won a blue ribbon." I am sure she will tell this to someone who really gives a crap, like the checker at Wal-Mart.   By the way, my mom is a Republican so she may not be overly impressed with my Green Ribbon.

Go ahead and feel free to give yourself an award. There are no rules. Let me know if you do bestow an award upon yourself, so me and my mom can brag on you too. (that is how they say it in Oklahoma-- "brag on").

PS: There is an ugly side to awards that I should mention. All was not fun and games in my award history. My gymnastics coach had a "special" award for yours truly at our annual banquet back in 1980 (when I was 12).  He presented me with the "BIG MOUTH AWARD" complete with chattering teeth.

Jerk. I am still mad about that one.  Luckily, my mom doesn't go around telling that story.