“I got you nutella too”
MOM!!! ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN ME? hahaha oy vey- everything in moderation!
I was looking for bathing suits, but apparently they don’t sell them. I grabbed a few dresses...Never realized how fucking ugly I am until now…
Finished day 2 week 3 of c25k. I was sweating buckets..literally. Bad thing was that I have misplaced my gym key, so my mom had to sneak me in tonight! Eeek@ I also went for a country bike ride with my best friend :). It was so fucking cold out today…brrrr! I’m hoping to hit my big deal goal in 2 pounds and my 30 pound mini goal in 7 pounds! Finishing off my night with some delicious fruit (apple, banana, pear)!
i am completely off track.
blueberry muffin for breakfast.
chipotle for lunch.
410 + 650 = 1,060 alone wtf?
skipped dinner, had about 10 french fries instead.
what the hell is wrong with me?
first day without new followers, probably deserved that.
no exercise.
not even gonna deal with this
probably just gonna fast now yaaay it was so good last time.
somehow, on these days that are so bad, are the days that i actually have a social life and friends - but i leave the house after looking in the mirror and feeling awful. it’s not worth it. i’d rather feel beautiful and lose the weight first, then go and be happy.
i don’t need to be happy to do this right.
If you have any requests for healthy recipes let me know! My family has started trying (and loving) the healthy food I'm making so I go through it faster and can try more new things! :D I only make vegetarian/ fish for myself but I'm more than happy to create a meat recipe for you to try! :)I was sitting in a huge empty parking lot, on the top of my car with my summer fling. We got on the conversation of girl’s pants and how tight they are.
Me-It’s so hard to find pants because look at the ones I’m wearing now (motioning at my black skinny jeans), they fit me perfectly on the legs but look how big they are in the upper thigh/hips (pulling to expose the tons of extra fabric).
Him-haha maybe you should just gain some weight to fit into them
Me-ummm no, I would prefer to not be fat
Him-Yeah but too skinny isn’t okay either. The anorexic type of skinny where the girl looks like she could honestly pass out in 2 seconds or you could break her by touching her.
Me- yet you see millions of girls all over the world starving themselves to look like that (thinking of myself)
Him-yeah but the thing is, no boy likes girls that thin. I’ve never met a guy ever that said his type was the type that was stick thin, never.
he is missing the point, we starve ourselves for ourselves primarily, and secondarily others. I don’t starve myself because I only want boys, but I starve myself out of fear of becoming fat and it’s the only thing I can control anymore (what goes in my mouth).
he also just made me realize that i’m not skinny enough yet because he didn’t categorize me with the “too skinny” girls.
xoxo sarah
So today was okay, I guess. I lost another pound - I’m at 129 exactly! But I ate so fucking much today and girlfriend wants me to start eating 1,200 calories a day and guess what’s not going to happen? That.
Calorie Count
Total intake: 1,116 (jesus fucking christ)
Total outtake: 222 (so far, I need to burn 194 more)
Total net intake: 894
So damn, I’m just going to have to do better this weekend and maybe I’ll be able to convince her that I’m okay. I don’t know. I’ll just work out and get my net intake down to 700 and maybe tomorrow I can eat under 700. I really hope so. I need to be skinny.
i think my body is oddly shaped … i didn’t really realize it until today thought that i have a pretty small torso, but loooong legs. yeah, that bugs me … but whatever haha
and i just realized that with how much i’ve been running, i haven’t gotten shin splints! which actually makes me really happy because when i run (well jog) i go for 5 miles at the time!
and, p90x seems kind of interesting. but i don’t think i’m going to buy it. but it seems pretty cool.
okay, this was really random! ;)