Dragons and Dulce de Leche

Yesterday was that time again.

Bookclub.

And this month it was my turn to host.

If you have ever been to my house, you know I am a huge fan of the bundt cake. I make one on for pretty much every occasion. I actually feel sad if there is not a bundt cake sitting all pretty on my counter. It is like I am stuck in 1974 and refuse to leave.

As expected, I made a bookclub bundt. I thought I would try the wonderful fall flavor of butter pecan.

I also thought a good complement to butter pecan would be Ben and Jerry's new flavor called Dulce Delish. While I don't approve of the term "delish" (due to Rachel Raytard using it every third word), the ice cream is highly recommended.

I am going to have to talk to Ben and Jerry about the little name situation. BTW, if you say "delish" "EVOO" or "Groovy" we cannot be friends.


Oh and hey, do they give Nobel prizes for food?  If they do, I nominate Ben and Jerry for this genius flavor:

Go to the store and buy some right now.I will wait right here.

Okay, you back?? On to the bookclub and book review.

The book we read was the Swedish book "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo."

Here is a picture of my niece, Tara, reading the book (that I stole off her blog).

(I sure hope she doesn't sue me).

BTW, Tara is not in my bookclub, but she does like to read.

While I am the fool that selected the tattoo book over a month ago, I farted around and did not start reading it until Monday at 10PM.  Uhm, I did not know it was 600 pages long and that half the words are Swedish things that I am clueless about. Oh and excuse me. It is a very violent and graphic book.   (Sidenote: I just thought of something. Isn't the bundt pan a Swedish thing?  Oh I bet those bookclub girls think I am super clever. HA!).

Ok. Enough about me, on to the book:

Attention Swedish publishing people.  Guess what?  I don't know the value of a kronor. For example, when I read this paragraph, I am confused:

       

   "At 9:30 she had breakfast in the hotel bar: two cups of coffee and a bagel with jam. The cost was 210 kroner. Are these people soft in the head?"

For all I know 210 kronor could be worth seven cents or it could be worth 54,311 dollars.  This is America. Put things in terms I can understand. I am on strict reading deadline and I don't have time to google currency converters.

Then there were lines like this one at the beginning of the book.

    "Three months in goal and 150,000 kronor damages. That's pretty severe." 

Oh, I see how it is going to be. An "English" translation, eh?  Again this America, I am pretty sure we say "jail."

And the money thing. Sooooo  irritating.

One of our bookclub members, Jane is from England and I tried to convince her that she needed to be in charge due the "English" translation, but she claimed that she was confused by a lot of the terms. I tried to argue that as a native European she needed to take full responsibility for the situation-- but shockingly, that logic did not really go anywhere.

On a positive note, I do like the idea of tattooing people with "warning labels" when they are mean to me.

Remember that time when Matt was super bossy and wouldn't let me watch the second half hour of Sister Wives because he wanted to watch Eastbound and Down?  That was so rude. How cool would it have been if I would have thought of handcuffing him to the coffee table and tattooing "GREEDY" right on his ass.   I bet he would let me watch whatever I wanted if I would have done that.

Well, that is my review. If coherency is your thing and you don't like my review check out Tara's.

A Pictorial Book Review (sometimes you just don't have words)

I am in a bookclub with some other gals in my area. Yesterday we met at Jane's house to discuss the book she had selected.  

(This post should be prefaced with the fact that the book was ---- umm, a "mermaid" book)

A couple of weeks prior to last night's meeting, I was talking to my neighbor Kathy about the book (which I had not started). She told me that she "had a hard time getting into it" and she did not care for the sci-fi genre. I told her I needed to start reading it ASAP so I could finish the book before our meeting.


For the good of the club, I did make one more attempt to read the book.

I don't really have words to describe what happened next, but it went something like this.

The book.

It was illustrated.

Random page.

Subject matter:  Mermaid birthing

This prompts me to want to throw the book off the balcony.

Things just went downhill from there.

PS. I fessed up to the fact that I did not read the book (blaming it on the genre) but mentioned that I really liked the pictures.

PPS. I declined to mention my photo shoot.

Thrift Store Book Review: The Honk and Holler Opening Soon

Okay,  I did not technically get this book at the thrift store. But that is not for lack of trying.  You may remember how I went searching the thrift for this book (for my book club) but ended up learning how to make my own lace panties instead. I could never find the damn book but I wound up checking it out at the library which is cheaper than the thrift so I am categorizing this as a "thrift store book review." You can file a complaint with management (aka Murphy) if you have a problem with that.

Of course I waited until two days before our meeting to even get the book, but I finished it. So there.

This is the book:

The book was just awwright dawg.

Pitchy. I don't even know what that means but I am guessing it applies here.

Incidentally, I  know the author, Billie Letts, in real life by a random twist of events. When I mentioned that I had met Ms. Letts and then later mentioned that I know the author of the next book we are reading, I think my club thought I might be a name dropper.  Whateva. So anyway, the other day Oprah and I were at the mall (haha just kidding. I was with Tyra).

Back to the book. The story revolves around a small town cafe in rural Oklahoma in 1985. A whole cast of characters come together as one:  Asian, Native American, Vietnam vet, crippled dog, crippled guy, missing thumb guy, town bully, oxygen tank lady, African American fundamentalist, country singer, mentally ill, gossip. All served up with a piece of pie.  Kumbaya.

The snacks were spicier.

The Q &A was insightful though.

Q:  Which character did you most identify with and why?

A:  The guy in the wheelchair who was afraid to leave the cafe.  I can go a week without leaving my house. Or maybe the guy with the missing thumbs? No, probably the town ho with the heart of gold. Oh wait there was not one of those? Never mind.


Meanwhile, Matt has been working long hours so I made a casserole for his dining pleasure while I was impressing the gals at the book club with my thoughtful analysis. By the way, is there a rule that a casserole must contain at least 2 cans of cream of mushroom (celery, chicken) soup?


I just sorta made this recipe up using the standard soup and cheese.  Can't go wrong with that duo. Throw in some filler and crumble some leftover taco shells on top and call it good.

 Sopa Crema y Queso

I just made that name up but that could be the name for any casserole.  Que Bueno!!

Our next book is about a mermaid or something. I think it is kind of like Twilight but under the sea. They kept saying "easy read" and I think they may have been talking about me but they have meant the book. I had a couple of glasses wine so who knows?  I will be sure and do another book/casserole review next month. Maybe I will start an entire series called "Book and Casserole Review"  I may be on to something people. Stay tuned.

Thrift Store Book Review: Adventures in Microwave Cooking

Y'all remember my "review" of the lingerie sewing book I did a few weeks ago in my post entitled Apocolyptic Panties right? 

Well, like a moth to a flame, I am sucked right back to the thrift store book section.  It represents everything I love about the thrift.  Total randomness and an occasional gem.

While perusing the FIRC the other day, I came across an entire section dedicated to microwave cookery.  Dozens and dozens of these cookbooks. The pictures in the books were nothing short of terrifying.  I was in awe.  Did anyone ever make any of these concoctions and who in their right mind would buy a microwave cookbook (besides me)? Now that the microwave is 40+ years old, we have all reached the consensus that the microwave is strictly for heating stuff up --not cooking, no? This should have been obvious to the authors and photographers of these books. 

So, without further ado, here is sampling of some of the tasty morsels you too can create. All you need is a a microwave and a weak gag reflex. I am not including the recipes, but I can if requested. I can also get you the name of a good eye doctor if you are so inclined.

You can click on any picture for a closer look.

I suppose 2 out of 3 unidentifiable dishes is not too bad. Apparently, this was such a good representation of  the microwave delights that it made the cover of the cookbook. I like the casually strewn carnation.

The first of many microwaved whole fish. More strategic carnations.

Cucumber is a great garnishment as I came to find out. This tasty trio works well for those that can't chew.

More cucumber garnish, oh and that carnation looks like it is on top of a giant piece of fake meat. It is presented funeral style.  

Whatever it is, it is overdone.

Is this brunch, a luncheon perhaps?  Buttered noodles? Check.  Tapioca pudding? Check. Rice ring? Check.  I think this is part of the Anti-Atkins diet that Matt is such a fan of. He loves a good macaroni sandwich. 

Jello does not seem compatible with the microwave. Who knew?

Honey, I have a special treat for dinner.  Microwaved lobster.

I always like to put little flags up so my guests know what kind of ethnic food I am serving. It is the polite thing to do, really. Oh, and I am sure microwaved tetrazzini is a staple in Italian cooking.

I really appreciate the added touch of the celery eyebrows.  It is always best to animate your food. Especially fish rings. Representative of the circle of life. I get it.  I am deep like that.

Microwaved shrimp and raisins. Sounds to die for. Literally. I would shoot myself first.

This one finally got it right, the microwave is to HEAT foods.





UPDATE:  I was telling Chase about this post (because he refuses to read my blog) and anyway, he sent me this link.  I gotta say "microwave cooking for one" may be the saddest phrase in the English language.

Apocolyptic Panties

I went to the thrift store yesterday.  I was on a mission.

I just joined a bookclub with some gals in my neighborhood and thought I would swing by the FIRC and see if, per chance,a copy of  the selected book was there (the book has been out for a few years). It was not.

I did find some other useful books to add to my library though.

Let me back up a bit.  I don't know about you but I have been really worried about Armageddon lately.  You know with 2012 approaching, violent earthquakes occurring and talk of an imminent civil war spurred by the new health care law, the fear is in the air!

I have been stockpiling supplies (wine, beer and bullets) just in case.

Well, I thought I had my bases covered.  However, I think I have been taking a few everyday things for granted that might not be here-- things I might really need in the event that my Wal-Mart is closed due to it being the end of days.

I am talking about panties my friends. 

Luckily, my local thrift had a copy of Kwik Sew's  "Beautiful Lingerie," copyright 1990.

I thought I better have a copy on hand-- you never know.

I also thought I would share one pattern with you.  Feel free to make copies of this to store in your Y2K 2012 emergency box.

I don't know about you,  but in the event of post-apocalypse hell, I still want to look sexy.


Feel free to print this as well.

You never know.

UPDATE: okay this volcano in Iceland seals the deal. what in the name of Tom Hanks is going on???