i need a uk ana texting buddy! i’m 5’5, 169 lb but working on it. my number is...

Weigh-in #26
Week 26
Start (old scales) - 175lbs
Start (new scales) - 169.5lbs
Last - 164.6lbs
Current - 163.2lbs
Loss - 1.4 lbs
New Scale Total Loss - 6.3lbs
Total Loss So Far - 14.3lbs
Pounds Until Halfway Point - 4.45lbs

so, for tomorrow

““What positive things have you said to yourself today? Acknowledge your greatness.””

- Chalene Johnson

I need to have a game plan for this week!

Oatmeal & bananas for breakfast every day!
Veggies & chicken for lunch every day!
10+ glasses of water every day!
Start & end the day with green tea.

Exercise (next two weeks):
Gym in morning, pool at lunch, walk in evening - Mon
Gym in morning, walk or pool at lunch - Tues
Gym in morning, walk to carnival at night - Weds
Walk -Thurs
Walk - Fri
Hardcore gym session (2-3 hours) - Sat
Longggg walk - Sun
Workout vid - Mon
Walk - Tues
Rest - Weds
Gym in morning, pool at lunch, walk in evening - Thurs
Gym & walk - Fri
Hardcore gym session - Sat
Rest - Sun

I miss being in the 170s. I will get there this week. And I’ll be under 175 by July 10th’s weigh-in. :) 

I think the universal answer to this is yes. Regardless of your size, girls make weight comments at all times. I do not think this is  an issue exclusively reserved to girls who are overweight.

I myself have dealt with the cruel onslaught of negative comments; I’ve been told I’m fat by people who I knew well, and by strangers on the street. One is not worse than the other, really.

I just hope that people realize this problem exists for all girls of all sizes. I’ve known gorgeous and impossibly thin girls who are self conscious of themselves because people make comments assuming they have eating disorders, when they don’t.

People should really stop using weight as the end-all for insults. If you really don’t like a person, making a comment about their lack of intelligence is a lot more damaging than making one about their appearance. I mean, newsflash - fat people know they are fat. So pointing it out doesn’t really do anything for you. 

Our society has a sick obsession with appearances and I for one am done with it. I will, to the best of my ability, try to tune out any negative comments, and try and stay in the positive, always.

I’m here for anyone who needs a reminder that no one has the right to make you feel inferior.

xoxo

I barely ate a thing. About 180 calories. Why do I feel so proud?

“HAVE YOU GAINED WEIGHT?”

- i want to die whenever i hear this question. it seems i’ve heard it so often lately. starve starve starve.Just spent all night reading the nutrition information on this website. AMAZING!

Today, ladies and gentlemen, makes a year on my Natural Hair journey. Time went by quickly. I’m gonna give ya’ll pics and lessons learned, but right now it is a crunchy dry mess from a late night, all day at work schedule.

Also, I weighed in today… I’m down to 192 point something pounds! woot woot! That’s down 9 point something pounds from where I began! #TeamFineinaMinute

Things I realized today:

• Every Sunday with my family reminds me why I came home.
• Sometimes people with start to not like you suddenly, all because they want something you have that you don’t even understand why they want it.
• For all of my moments of self-esteem weakness, my skin is indeed getting tougher. It does hurts to be rejected/denied, but I’m realizing that I’m not a “one-size-fits-all” type of girl. And I’m becoming okay with that.
• I love Kevin Hart
• Zumba is my workout utopia!

I’ll be back tomorrow ya’ll!

i drank two of these today. :)

i train bi’s, tri’s, chest, & abs. it will be my heavy weight day. ill be using weights around 15-20 pounds, as well as 20-35 pounds - it all depends on the move im doing. ill also complete 4 sets (one warm up set, and three hard sets). here is what im going to do:

curls 
push ups
v-ups
kickbacks
cable crossovers
side to sides
barbell curls
bench press
plank
dips
side to sides
cable curls
cable crossovers
tricep pulldowns

also, i will be doing slow & steady cardio. probably jogging or stair stepping for half an hour to 45 minutes.  

ill let you know how it goes.

There’s things that keep popping up in my dash, y’know? Things i don’t enjoy!Let...

Lots of Uni work to do today so not completely focused on my goals :/

I went way over on carbs I think :(

Food

Daily Milk 3

B. Beans 4

   Brown Toast 4

   Scrambled eggs 4

D. Haddock 2

   Potatoes 2

  Vegetables 0

  Rice 8

Snacks

Shredded wheat 4

Fruit salad and natural yogurt 1

Slice of Brown Bread 2

Slice of chicken 1

Total 35

Exercise

Day 7 of the 30 Day Shred

Moo

:)

Sweats for t-t-t-todayyyyyyy!!

Body Attack was a KILLER! I think that I work harder when the class has more people (i.e. not SO many people that I’m bumping into broads left and right, but enough that I wanna show off). And considering the routine was almost the same as yesterday, I was pretty accustomed to the moves and could just work it.

Today, for dinner, we’re making a BBQ chicken pizza!!  Whole wheat dough, BBQ sauce, baked chicken, and 2% fat cheddah!  Mmmm.  Can’t wait to try it.

ALSO: weighed myself today and was 174, 2 lbs down since my initial heart attack of a weigh in yesterday/Wednesday so I feel like that’s at least reasonable.

Things are looking up, with no major MEAL related events this weekend (when things revolve around eating, I tend to join in on those things…)

Tomorrow: Farmer’s market early in the AM, pancake saturday, and BodyJam followed by the POOL! Glorious.

From 325lbs (5/4/07) to 187 (6/3/11).  Still 20% body fat.  BUT  Traps showing up nicely.  Same with shoulders.  But my head looks huge in this picture, no?

 I won’t be able to finish these 30 days because I’ll be in Korea in 20 days, so I’m going to cheat and answer some questions ahead of time.

Day 01 - Your stats

Day 02 - How tall are you? Do you like your height?

Day 03 - A picture of your fitspiration. What features do you like about this person? 

Day 04 - Your greatest fears about weight loss.

Day 05 - Why do you really want to lose this weight? Are you doing it for you?

Day 06 - Do you binge? If so, explain why you think you do.

Day 07 - Do your friends and family know you’re trying to lose weight? Do they support you? 

Day 08 - Your workout routine.

Day 09 - Did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?

Day 10 - What was the hardest thing you gave up during your weight loss journey?

Day 11 - Your favorite fitspo blog and why?

Day 12 - What food plan do you normally follow each day?

Day 13 - Are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?

Day 14 - What is your ultimate goal weight/look?

Day 15 - Are you vegan or vegetarian? If so, has this helped you lose weight? If not, would you ever consider turning vegan or vegetarian?

Day 16 - When did you first decide to lose weight?

Day 17 - What is your favourite treat meal?

Day 18 - What food is your weakness?

Day 19 - When is your favourite body part to work on? Why?

Day 20 - What is your favourite form of cardio?

Day 21 - What is your favourite resource for healthy living info?

Day 22 - Quick! What are the 5 things you like best about yourself?

Day 23 - Did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight?

Day 24 - When did you first notice your hard work paying off?

Day 25- When you reach your goals, what do you plan on doing to maintain your results?

Day 26 - What excites you most about reaching your goals?

Day 27 - How do you stay on track in tempting situations? (e.g. BBQs, Birthday parties, out with friends, etc.)

Day 28 - Have you had any setbacks you’ve had to overcome? How did you do it?

Day 29 - Your definition of beauty.

Day 30 - 10 facts about you! And now, what are your stats?

Tonight Im doing my Coach plan run from Nike+

so I only have to do .64 miles. which is cool cause my feet really hurt.

I have to run for 1:00 and then walk for 5:00, relatively easy.  Im on the Walk to Run program so, 

and then after I’ll probably do some Yoga err something./

i wanted to get up and run a mile before getting in the pool, but my feet were still sore from running the past few days (high arches are a bummer), so i took a short nap before getting in the pool and swimming 100 laps. i’m so tired, like i feel like i’m about to fall asleep typing this, but it felt absolutely amazing. 

afterwards i was starving, so despite my binge earlier i made myself a bowl of whole grain wheat penne pasta. i normally just kind of estimate what i put in, but i actually measured out everything this time. i’ve been really overestimating the amount of pasta i eat. i measured out 1 cup, like i figured i normally eat, but it turned out to make a HUGE bowl. and i always thought i used a full cup of sauce, but 1/2 a cup was plenty, even with the extra pasta. the bread was more calories than i thought though (150 calories for a medium sized piece of french bread, extra 30 for the tsp of butter…so worth it though). so dinner ended up being 517 calories. oh well. 

food journal:

breakfast- whole wheat bagel with ~1 tbs butter (170 calories…i remembered the calories for butter wrong. whoops.)

lunch- pb&j on whole wheat (270 calories)

snack- fudge (400 calories), 2 pieces of taffy and a few tortilla chips (100 calories)

dinner- whole grain wheat penne pasta with mushroom red sauce and french bread (517 calories)

desert- skinny cow ice cream sandwich (140 calories)

total- 1,597 

exercise journal-

swimming (100 laps-45 minutes)

yikes. weighing in tomorrow, let’s hope it goes well. if not i’ll have to stick to a strict 1300 calorie a day food plan…

I’m 5’3” and I’m fine with my height. I wouldn’t complain if I was an inch taller, but I’m really cool with what my height is right now because when I wear heels, I look about 125908125 feet tall.

That’s a lie, but heels > no heels but I’m still a good height.

…was a bad day. I only made it to the gym for half an hour and totally binged after dinner…like 500 calories worth. I don’t feel too bad because I did work my ass off this week, but the thing is I’ll be away all next week and my routine will be all messed up!! Just need to work out a little extra tomorrow and try to stay on track the rest of the weekend. I need a hug.

thepictureofhealth replied to your post:CalorieKing is telling me to lower my intake to 1230 calories per day.

How many do you eat now? 1230 isn’t that ridiculous. And your body can still function on that if you keep it as your net calories.

I was eating 1250 calories but the problem is I never have that as my net calories. I need to start eating back my exercise calories. I used to do it, then I stopped and had great results but now it’s slowed down heaps and I need to fuel my body. I’m more active than “light” but less than “moderate” thanks to my job. I’ll go back through my study notes today and work out my BMR and go from that. I think I can trust my own career change over a website that doesn’t give inbetween options.

jess-nelsonreblogged your post:CalorieKing is telling me to lower my intake to 1230 calories per day.

That’s the calorie intake…by daily…It’s not that bad if you eat light frequent meals.

No, it’s not bad but my problem as I mentioned above is that I don’t tend to eat back my exercise calories. I think 1230 is too low for me, because I’m more active than CalorieKing says I am because they don’t have an “inbetween” option from light to moderate like it does when you calculate your BMR. So I’ll be doing that today and working out my calorie needs for myself.

What good is learning this stuff to become a Personal Trainer if I don’t practice what I preach? I need to work these things out for myself before I can work them out for anyone else.

There’s things that keep popping up in my dash, y’know? Things i don’t enjoy!

Let me post the picture and i’ll explain why it pissed me off.

Now, before i begin, i am NOT promoting anorexia or bullimia.

Anyway.

You guys do realize that not all insanely skinny girls are Anorexic, right? There are some with extremely high metabolisms who cannot control how skinny they are. Now before you go off saying, “Well there’s a difference from someone with a high metabolism and someone who is Anorexic and a bag of bones,” I’d like to dissagree.
My stepmother has a very high metabolism and is just as skinny as that girl on the right. She eats A LOT but never gains a pound. Because of people saying things like that picture above she has a low self esteem. She tells me every day that she hates being this skinny and wishes she could gain some weight. People approach her and tell her that ‘there’s help out there’ so many times, and it makes her feel horrible. She feels disgusting. She hates it. But she can’t control it. How do you think it makes her feel when people say things like this? It’s horrible.

Why is it that when you call a fat girl ‘gross’ everyone hates you and calls you a monster, but when someone walks up to a skinny girl and tell her to eat a burger, everyone praises you and agrees? Double standard much?

Not all skinny girls want to be that skinny. Many can’t control it. But yes, there are girls who are anorexic and bullimic as well.

But just as there are issues with weight in America about how so many are overweight and unhealthy, there are girls who feel so horrible about theirselves that they actually stop eating and lose mad amounts of weight. To me it goes hand in hand - they are both eating disorders. Why should a girl with such a low self esteem that they are actually putting their life at risk get so much hate? It’s not going to make them eat, let’s face it. It’s going to lower their self esteem even more. Instead you need to offer them advice, talk to them, and help them seek professional guidence or they will die.

Same with overweight individuals, they need professional help, you can’t tell them to go eat a salad.

So why are overweight individuals easily sympathized with while Skinny girls are treated like demons? Like its their fault and they oughtta be ashamed, when its also the overweight individual’s fault for being bigger?

It’s ridiculous.

So i’d be really interested to hear your opinion on this matter, but please refrain from insults or i will not answer you. I want an intelligent conversation, not a fighting match, because i wont deal with it.

Again, i am not promoting Anorexia/Bullimia no more than i am promoting overeating. I’m simply trying to have my say on the matter. They are both disorders that should BOTH be sympathized with instead of ridiculed.

Thank you.

Band Wagon

Your body on Coke

Food

i had a bowl of special k cereal, and coffee

snacks: i had a ceral bar

snacks: one string chesse

and lunch i had a cearl bowl

dinner: not yet aten, ill post later.

Activites

I cleaned the whole house, thanks to that coffee

and did some jumping jacks, and probably look up some exercise online. i’ll update soon

“So before you say, “I could never give up meat,” realize that nearly every single vegetarian on the planet said those same words. Then shut the fuck up, look at an inspirational picture of a skinny bitch, and clean out your freezer.”

- Skinny Bitch is becoming my new favorite book.

I couldn’t resist weighing myself today…..it seems I am back down to 255.2, which is fantastic because at the end of the week I want to be out of the 250’s. No, I WILL be out of the 250’s. It’s my plateau that I have been unable to pass since last summer. 253, to be exact. I will pass it. Once I pass it I think it will all go very smooth. That dress I tried on at my starting weight (260) isn’t as snug!! I think it will fit at 245. At 230 I will post another photo of myself.  

i’m over weight, 10lbs off being obese :(

but you know what? i’m gonna do it anyway.

STAYING STRONG.

Fell off the healthy band wagon for about a week there…and the vegetarian one too :( BUT I’m getting back on both and figuring out my new lifestyle. It would be easier if it wasn’t just me and my boyfriend living together while he eats meat like it’s his job and him also cooking the majority of the meals. I tried to cook the other day and I overcooked, but undercooked the rice if that makes any sense - I burnt it on the bottom from cooking it at too high of a heat and mixed it too much while it was cooking so it didn’t actually cook so it turned to a mushy, burnt mess. Bah. I also managed to break a wooden spoon while waiting for my rice to burn.

Seriously need to get a veggie cookbook so that I can make some legitimate food instead of drinking all of these protein shakes and scrambled eggs.

The term band wagon also made me really miss playing the saxophone - I should see if I can get my old one back from my aunt and uncle :)

slloooowwwlllyy

Do skinny girls make more money?

While it should not make any sense at all, the sad reality is that no only do thin girls easily find relatively good jobs, they also make at least $22,000 more each year.  In a study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology, overweight or obese women make even less than a woman of average weight.  If you are not mad yet, listen to this one, for guys it makes no difference what their weight is.  Actually, most of my middle aged bosses are pot bellied slobs.

Day One- Your stats

Age: 24

Height: 6’0”

Weight: 177lbs

Size: UK 14-16 (bottoms) and 14 (tops)

Day Two- How tall are you? Do you like your height?
Day Three- A picture of your thinsperation. What features do you like about this person?
Day Four- Your greatest fears about weight loss.
Day Five- Why do you really want to lose this weight? Are you doing it for you?
Day Six- Do you binge? If so, explain why you think you do.
Day Seven- Do your parents know you’re trying to lose weight? Do they care? 
Day Eight- Your workout routine.
Day Nine- Did people ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?
Day Ten- What was the hardest thing you gave up during this “weight loss.”
Day Eleven- Your favorite thinspo blog and why!
Day Twelve- What do you normally eat?
Day Thirteen- Are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?
Day fourteen- What’s your UGW? When you expect to reach it?
Day Fifteen- Are you vegan or vegetarian? If so, has this helped you lose weight? If not, would you ever consider turning vegan or vegetarian?
Day Sixteen- When did you first decide to lose weight?
Day Seventeen- Do you have an eating disorder?
Day Eighteen- What food is your weakness?
Day Nineteen- When is the last time you ate fast food?
Day Twenty- Favorite diet?
Day Twenty-One- What are your clothing sizes?
Day Twenty-Two- What was your lowest weight? How and why did you gain?
Day Twenty-Three- Did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight?
Day Twenty-Four- How do you feel about the terms pro-ana/pro-mia
Day Twenty-Five- Have you ever purged? If you have describe your first experience. 
Day Twenty-Six- What excites you most about reaching your ugw?
Day Twenty-Seven- How do you deal with being around food?
Day Twenty-Eight- Do you want that “gap” between your legs? Why?
Day Twenty-Nine- Your definition of beauty.
Day Thirty-  10 facts about you! And now, what are your stats?

Gotta get my wedding ring sized down and some links taken out of my watch! Nice problems to have.

DON’T EVER WORK OUT IF YOU HAVE NOT EATEN ALL DAY!!!!!!

I hadn’t eaten all day but I worked out anyways, figuring I would be okay.

WRONG.

Close to the end of my work out, I felt like throwing up so bad and my stomach hurt so much I couldn’t even concentrate anymore. I had to stop for a bit so I wouldn’t throw up all over the floor. I just finished working out and my stomach is still hurting really bad.

Shitty work out, ughh.

My five mile bike ride turned into a 6.3 mile bike ride. The weather went from dreary to beautiful and I didn’t want to stop.

Lunch

Work up this morning to find my fiber cereal is all gone. Someone ate the rest of it which doesn’t really make me too happy. There wasn’t much else in my house for breakfast besides a breakfast drink mix. It was filling but I would have much rather had my freaking cereal. -.-

Anyways, I’m changing up my exercise routine today. I’m going to go ahead and eat lunch then maybe go for a quick walk around the block then eat dinner around 5 or so then exercise for about an hour at home. I really wish I had a gym membership somewhere close to my house but I’ll work with what I have I suppose.

I’m also trying not to eat past 6 in the evening and trying to get to bed around 10 pm and no later. Having a little bit of struggling with going to bed earlier because of insomnia but I’m hoping pumping up my exercise time will help tired me out a bit and allow me to start going to bed earlier.

I feel really good today, like reaaaally good, best I’ve felt in a while and even though I’m not seeing much change, there is a little, I can feel it.

Here’s to feeling motivated today!

Yeah now I’m sitting here cooling down from Wii Fit. I swear, I push ridiculously hard at that thing! 

Highlights include 60 jackknives and holding a plank for 114 seconds. Not bad for a fat girl! 

Completely unrelated, but I have a hole in my sneakers. No, not my converse or TOMS, my Asics. Guess it really is time for a new pair, I was going to wait until I reached 230 to get them but it looks like I’ll have to get some next week regardless. 

When you do it for them, you lose. You have to do this for y o u.

When my mom used to tell me to stop eating so much, I used to blame her. Looking back, I was so wrong. It was all me. I ate too much and I didn’t exercise enough. But when she would tell me to put down all of that junk food and the extra helpings, I got angry and I just wanted to eat more and more.

But, on that February Tuesday after I went out to dinner with my friend and ate a slice of pizza with ham, chicken, mozzarella cheese and vodka sauce, that’s when I knew it had to end. That’s the day I started my journey and I never looked back. Yes, of course I had my binges and my days when I quit exercising, but that was my lowest point. It was also my highest weight. I’m down at least 12 pounds since then, and while it might not seem like a lot, it’s a hell of a lot better than nothing. 

So do it for you. 

More reason to starve :)

No lie, that 149 lbs weigh in discouraged me a bit :( Lol! I’m pretty sure I sound like a big sap but I really wasn’t expecting to weigh that much. I definitely have to get a second weigh in. Hopefully the next one will show me weighing less ( a lot less) and I can find my motivation.

I’d love to go for a run [okay, okay, a jog broken up with short periods of walking because I’m still not a runner], but earlier this week I stepped on a piece of metal the size of a nail and ran it completely through my big toe. Yeah. Fun. I’m trying to avoid anything high impact for a little while to give it time to heal.

For that reason, I’m thinking of putting my 8 pound dumbbells to good use. I’ll be sure to post whatever exercise I end up doing.

I’d love to know your favorite way to work your arms. Drop some ideas in my ask box? : ] 

I love looking at other healthy blogs and I want to share my own tips. I’ve lost 32 pounds in the past year the healthy way and I would like to have something to keep track of this progress aside from a number on a scale.

I don’t know.

So delicious! It’s filled with veggies and couscous is super easy to make (it actually cooks itself, just boil water, add couscous, take off heat and cover for 10 minutes, that’s it!).

You don’t have to bake this but I like it with the little bit of crisp on the outside!

Recipe here: http://piecesinprogress.tumblr.com/pastapossibilities

123 calories, 2 fat, 24 carbs, 2.5 fiber, 4 protein

I didn’t drink enough water yesterday which is why I didn’t lose anything. I drank a bit less than normal and that combined with the incredible heat/ massive sweating in my workout means I got dehydrated. I’m rehydrating today and looking forward to being back where I should be tomorrow! :)

The good side is I informally took my measurements and am going to be down at least another inch from my hips and half inch from my waist again! I love that what I’m losing is fat loss because it’s really noticeable. I’m wearing a tank today that I’ve been too embarrassed to wear since I got it and it’s actually loose on me now! :D

Today, I had a free 15 minute personal training session. I was sweating like hell and out of breath by the end of it! I can’t wait to start doing it every week. She was great.

After that, I came in and got a nice glass of ice water. I am trying to cut out soda for now. I am a diet soda ADDICT! I don’t drink coffee or tea so I drink diet soda for my energy. But I drink anywhere from 2-5 cokes a day! It’s way too much.

So right now there is no soda. I am going to try to do no soda until the 16th.

So, I made Caroline a mayo, cheese, and tomato sandwich on wheat. Phil had left overs from when we had mexican the other day. And I made myself a reduced fat peanut butter and banana sandwich on wheat bread with my water. I feel good right now. Exhausted… but good

When I go back to school after summer…

i would just like to say that everyone should stop talking about Yuri’s weight loss. it’s her body and she has every right to look how she wants to look. what’s important is that she feels beautiful, and it looks like she enjoys the way she looks so stop gossiping about it.

Cool.

Dear Young Me,

Sorry, I won’t ever add approximately 60 pounds to you again…

Love always,

4 Years Later

iknowicandothis: I was shocked when I saw the first picture on the left…It’s working!:D

So today my total was 740 calories, 85g carbs, 60g protein, and 15g of fat :) I know realisticly I should be eating more, but I’m honestly not real hungry, and I really really need to lose this weight fast for summer parties that are coming up. I have to be at 125lbs before I feel like I’m good enough to wear a bikini. That’s almost 20lbs I have to lose ASAP!!! yikes!!!

I did the 100 workout today too! I loved it, I was sweating and felt good about it. The only thing I didn’t like were the leg lifts, I may replace them with something else, like barbell curls to work my arms, because I felt the leg lifts did nothing. Although I may just be really bad at them XD

whoo hoo! Weight-loss feels so good :)

Sunshine…

I went a little overboard today. Over 200 calories past my daily budget. Ugh. I guess I was bound to slip-up sometime. It just sucks because I was doing so well before and now…gahh.

It’s been a very long time since I’ve done a text post.  As Sharon said to me last week “You’ve lost your mojo”

I have to agree.

My life has changed in so many ways in the last month.  I was a grad student living with one of my best friends with two more of them living down the street.  I drove across the country and went on adventures that are way out of my comfort zone.  I left California (after dropping off my roommate) and came back to Massachusetts and move into a one bedroom apartment.  (I would like to break for a moment and say don’t you put “an” in front of words that start with a vowel? It would be an octopus, an octo-mom.  But on an one bedroom apartment is wrong?)  Back on topic.

I started working full time at my internship-turned-contractor job doing tax returns that are beyond my knowledge and coming home so exhausted I just lay in my bed and try to find the energy to cook dinner.

I’m lonely.  I’m tired. I’m just trying to figure this new life out.

So yes, I lost some mojo.

But it’s coming back. Soon.  As soon as I get my credit card so I can earn miles so I can be reunited with Ashley.  

When I go back to school after summer…

I want to see their jealousy.

I want to walk in there and see all people staring at me.

I want them to get compliments on my weight loss.

I want to be skinner than her.

I want to make them feel desperate.

I want to support my followers.

I want to wear my old jeans.

I want to feel healthy and fantastic.

I want to be confident.

I wanna have a reason to go shopping every day.

I want it. Now.

Next Week's Plans

I’m going to be honest and say that when I stayed at my friend’s house the last couple of days I didn’t exercise as much self-control as I could have. I made a lot of bad choices with the excuse of not being at home and not being in control. I had A LOT of sodium, carbs, and a whole lot of fat(I finally had some pizza which is the only thing I literally refuse to eat because I know I’ll pig out…and I pigged out). It wasn’t pretty. My weight went back up by about 4 pounds as expected but like the last time this happened it’ll go back down pretty quickly and I’ll be right back on track in a couple of days(though I really would like to have continued without any setbacks…hopefully I’ll get through the summer without any more). I obviously haven’t learned my lesson with this, though, and I really need to. I won’t always be able to work out two hours a day and I can’t go my entire life without eating out or indulging so I need how to do it healthily. I can’t just let everything go to shit because it’s too hard to say no.

Anyway, I stayed with my cousin last night because I was babysitting her so when I got home I had a KIND protein bar and worked out for an hour on the elliptical. I had some high fiber oatmeal with a glass of soy milk after. I had a cup of coffee as I made dinner which was a couple of bites of turkey breast, sauteed portabello mushrooms with worchestershire sauce, and salad with balsamic vinegar, red peppers, tomato, and feta cheese. A little bit of pineapple was dessert. I worked out for another hour after that.

Would a hedonist diet?

I’ve been shit slack this week. Well let’s be honest here, for the last two weeks.

Carborama.

Gah. Blah. Oh, oops, that ones copywrited.

I’ve had bread, pasta, pizza (gasp). And the evil of all evils, Coke. A cola.

Boo me. I did go for a run Monday, but I doubt that counts now.

Crap. Why’s it so hard? I’ll attempt to stay away from the Duramine next week but I’m making no promises.

Here’s to another weekend. Cheers big ears.

Jx

Hey there, rib cage. It’s been a while. Now, that you came back I will do anything to keep you.

I haven’t done my workout yet :x

There’s still time! If I don’t get it in today, I’ll just count today as my rest day for the week… I’m so sore already. Getting in and out of the car today was painful lol 

I walked around in the mall for hours shopping though… and didn’t buy anything, what a let down!

Went to dinner at Houlian’s with my sister and didn’t partake in the free disco fries… I only ate a max of 350 calories total so I’m still on track for the day as well, proving it’s entirely possible to make smart choices when eating at restaurants.

Real Girl Thinspo. My favorite kind.

This was something i did in OT(occupational therapy) today… i think it actually shows why Ed is so hard to combat…

it is a dialogue between me and my eating disorder:

Alyssa: I want recovery to live my life

Ed: No, you NEED me to survive

A: I need to change my lifestyle

E: You shouldn’t change anything because you’ll just fuck it all up

A: I want to be healthy and happy

E: I can give you that, if only you’d try harder you fat cow

A: I want to not hate my life

E: You should hate your life because you have fucked it up completely

A: I want a successful career

E: I’ll give you that by pushing you to accept nothing less than perfection. No perfection=FAILURE

A: I want a life filled with love and joy

E: You don’t deserve that

A: I am going to change to better myself

E: I will make your life a living hell if you disobey me

A: I want to be content with my life

E: You can be content when you are perfect

A: I want to have fun

E: You don’t deserve that. Everybody thinks you’re fat anyways, the only reason they hang out with you is so that you make them look better by being the fat friend

A: I want to be Ed free

E: You will never be good enough without me, you’re a loser and a failure without me; you will blow up like a balloon and become the fattest and most hated person on earth without me.

Seems irrational right?

But it goes through my head every minute of every day…

And after awhile…

Ed becomes truth…

if you ever wondered what i’m fighting

that’s part of it

So why do I still look exactly the same when I look in the mirror?:( I feel so fat, gross and just plain fucking ugly. Why can’t I see any of this weight come off? I’m a uk size 6/8, but I still LOOK at least a 12/14. Wtf? My mum wants me to go to the doctor, because she’s worried about the way I see myself. But why can’t she see it? I bet she does, really… So why won’t she admit that my stomach is still disgusting? That my thighs are still huge? That everything still jiggles when I move!? Tomorrow I’m going to drink loooads of water and eat ONLY fruit, and hopefully the next day, too. Actually I might try to do that until monday, I think. I’m so sick of catching my reflection and cringing away from it, will this shit ever stop?:/

MEAL PLAN FOR THE WEEK

Breakfast - banana, green tea

Snack (in school) - gumgumgum :)

Lunch - Weight Watchers soup/ravioli, strawberries/grapes/raspberries for dessert

Snack (before working out) - fruits, like an apple

Dinner (after working out) - canned tuna with corn/3 fiber crispbreads with low-fat, low-cal cheese or salami

Snack (late-night, in case) - fruits!

WORKOUT PLAN - MONDAY, TUESDAY, THURSDAY, FRIDAY

*8-Minute Ab and Arm Workouts, once in the morning and once in the afternoon/evening

*1 hour total of walking/jogging on the treadmill

*30 minutes on the stationary bike

*2 rounds of strength training

-> Wednesday is my day-off from the gym! But I will still do the 8-Minute Ab and Arm Workouts twice, once in the morning and once in the evening.

-> On Saturday next week (June 25), I will take a picture wearing the exact outfit I wore in today’s picture and compare. What the scale says isn’t important.

Cait, you have to realize that you cannot afford any more unhealthy eating! I know the only reason you ate unhealthily tonight was because you had no more fruits to snack on, because your lazy butt just slept this afternoon instead of hit the grocery store. It’s your own fault, but tomorrow will be better. You’re going to stick to your plan, grocery shop for fruits and Weight Watchers soup as well. You are going to work out and love it. You will not even THINK about eating anything that is not what you planned. You are slowly getting back on track, and in a strange way, I’m actually proud of you.

Day 1: Starting Weight/Measurements

See ya later level 1 of the 30 day shred; it’s been nice knowing ya. I want to measure again just because the level is over but realistically it’s been 3 days and I’m not doing that shit. Today was the first day I actually did it with real weights because I finally had time to go and get some last night………haha the books I was using were probably only 1.5 pounds (I say this after working out today). I bought 3 pound weights because I knew 5 would be too much right now. I can definitely feel it in my arms ahah. I had no idea the books were so light. At least I can say Harry Potter helped me get thin ;)

One thing I will say is that I wish there was a timer or something on the video just so you knew there was only 10 seconds left of something. I listen to music and turn down the volume of the instructions usually but I keep it loud enough so I can still hear it. Every once in awhile I here Jillian say “just a few more” and it is much more than a few. ahah it’s just deceiving and I like to know what’s going on justttt sayin.

Anyway food has been good today. I have some tofu marinating right now. I think I’ll back some and have it with stir fry and tomorrow I’ll use the rest for veggie tacos.

Ps. I don’t know about you guys but I like sour cream soo instead of using that on my tacos I usually use a lil low fat ranch. TAS-ty.  hahah that’s my suggestion for the day.

Now I’m going to do an inner thigh workout followed by homework forever. sigh.

UK8/US4 to a UK4/US0

Zero calorie chewing gum = A binging life saver!

Breakfast this morning. Half a bagel with low calorie light cream cheese and one scrambled egg White

I was at 13 years old about 265 pounds. I currently weigh: 175 

Shit son, sometimes I even forget how much that is.

Another one of my favorite diet foods. I am eating these instead of any other noodles. Only 18 calories for an entire package of them. I am looking for some good sauce recipes (low calorie ones). Let me know if you have one :) 

breakfast: 10g apple (4.5 calories) 10g kiwi (3.7 calories) tsp yogurt (5 calories) 5 oats (1 calories)

lunch: broccoli (10 calories) pepper (10 calories) 1 tomato (20 calories)

supper: chedder thing (20) slice of apple (3)

total for today: 4.5+3.7+5+1+10+10+20+20+3= 77.2

walked for like 10 minutes, 100 sit ups done.

MUST RUN TOMORROOOWWWWWWW

Swim lesson time! I love giving lessons because the kids are great and I burn over 700 calories! After I'm making a fantastic grilled Mediterranean couscous dish, 200 calories 3.5 fat, 10 protein! :D

I eat when I have to and when I’m hungry, which is a rare occasion as of late.

I’m about 80% sure we’re going out to eat on Sunday for father’s day so that will be my first big meal in about a week (don pablos from monday)

I’m not having a big meal until then.

As of May 30:

195 pounds

Right Arm: 14 1/2 inches

Bust: 43 inches

Chest: 35 3/4 inches

Waist: 35 inches

Hips: 44 inches

Right Thigh: 27 1/4 inches

Right Calf: 16 1/4 inches

Weight Loss from Books!

So, these past few days I was away from home (visiting Kay, attending a wedding, etc). I decided that it would be difficult to count calories and difficult to control what kinds of things I would be eating.

As a result, I stopped counting and just tried to listen to what my body was saying.

I ate a cupcake, I had pizza and fries, and more. I was not as restrictive and it paid off!!!

I think often I give my self a decent amount of set calories (1200-1500), buuuuut I think counting causes me to focus to much on weight loss and not on enjoying the food or just living a healthy lifestyle. As a result, even though I was eating a healthy amount of calories, I still felt restricted by what kinds of foods I could eat and how much of them as well. So, these past few days, if I was hungry I ate, if I wasn’t I didn’t.

I weighed in and voila 148 pounds :)

(and with 2 weeks till the beach, so when I keep this up I could reach 145 or less!)

So, I plan to continue eating intuitively as best I can, unless I hit a plateau or something, then I will re-evaluate…but I think what is wonderful about this is that it is teaching me to listen to my body and how to eat in a way that is maintainable!

All you guys who’ve been complaining about it, I feel your pain. I really do.

I’ve been a bit worried about how far I can run and I’ll be able to do the full 5k. I realised I’ve been including my 5 minute warm up walk in my timings. So today I did my 5 minute warm up and then I ran for an extra 40 minutes on top of that. 40 minutes!

Go me!

It’s not almost 7:30 pm. I had my meal exactly 12 hours ago. I’m stopping, I’m making myself something healthy to eat now. I hate feeling weak because I’m restricting myself.

I ran last night!  For the first time in, like, a month.  I ran close to 1.5 miles, maybe 1.2 miles.  At any rate, I ran! It was almost easy, too, which freaked me out a little bit.  I wasn’t timing myself too seriously, but I knew that for having run as far as I had at that particular point, I should have been breathing a little heavier.  It was probably because I took my asthma meds prior to running (the asthma meds I’ve been without for nearly as long as I haven’t been running. Connection, maybe?!).  Maybe it’s because I don’t weigh as much as I did when I was running before.  I don’t know how I did it, but I shed another 5-8 pounds (depending on the scale, of course).  Probably has to do with me participating in this “No Junk Food for the Month of June” challenge on Facebook.  It’s done me some good; I can’t even fathom eating a bag of chips or anything without true nutritional value.  Even now when I am DEAD BROKE, a bag of chips would be cheap and quick and filling for a time.  But, a banana from the fruit guy is the same amount of change, and even more filling and nutritious.  I guess this is what boyfriend was always talking about when he’d say, “Eat real food.”  Had to figure it out the hard way. 

Yeah, so I ran last night, and I’ll probably do so again tonight or tomorrow morning.

That’s all.

serendipitybabyy said: - We probably know more about the scientific weight loss aspects than any normal person would.

THIS IS SO TRUE. I think that’s one of the biggest myths about those with eating disorders- that our actions are due to ignorance about nutrition. I’ve read both diet books and medical textbooks extensively in an attempt to known as much possible about weight loss. I also had a nutritionist after I was diagnosed last year, so I know how I’m affecting my body.

So, I haven’t done a GPOYW or a progress picture in a while, it took me a couple of pages on my blog even to find a recent picture.

ANYWAY, yesterday I was (and still am) running low on clothes, so I decided to just grab this gray shirt that I normally don’t wear because it’s a little too tight and too short. Well, I pulled it on and holy baggy-ness batman! This is NOT the same shirt I used to wear!

Let us all ignore my insane face in the first picture. I know they are taken at different angles, but you can even see how much baggier the shirt is on my now. Not to mention how much smaller my upper arms look and can I mention that my boobs look a lot bigger too (you can’t realllly tell that in this picture thought….)? tmi? AND LOOK AT MY FINGERS! They are soooo much less sausagey now! HURRAH!

Could I be dorkier though? No? I didn’t think so….

Oh my gosh I hurt. Such a good day at the gym. 

First I walked for like 10 minutes on the treadmill. I almost forgot to stop, since I was just warming up. My body was ready to keep going! 

Then I did the whole line of machines, 20 reps on each. I did as much weight as I could, which was 50 or 70 on the leg machines and 20 or 30 on the arm ones. 

After that, I tried the elliptical again. It kicked my ass, seriously! I loved it. 

According to my Lose It! App, I burned 500 calories today. I definitely feel like it. I love the feeling of pushing myself just the right amount! 

So one suggests that weight loss is specific to blood type and the other notes that weight loss is possible with the elimination of grains. If I follow both books, I need to eliminate my grains that I love so much! 

Anyone think there’s any truth to these statements in Dr Peter J.D’Adamo’s Eat Right 4 Your Type& Gary Taubes’ Why We Get Fat and What To Do About It?

i think some people are only meant to be in your life to help you lose weight by creating stressful situations. and i will stick

But I’ve had exams up until today!! It’s quite literally consumed me.

And it’s done weird things to my eating, like being too stressed to eat most of the time. And when I am hungry? Its all cravings haha

We’ll see the effects on the scales tomorrow.

team flippyfloppies. more like team WINNERS.

yeah, that’s right.

this girl right here.

As of today, I weighed in at 169.2 lbs.

I started losing weight last spring/summer when I weighed 210 lbs. This puts me at almost FOURTY ONE POUNDS lost, and about 5 lost for this summer.

Hahahaha I love it.  About to eat, run, then go to work.  I love my life. 

I have finally considered myself on track enough to know that I won’t fall behind.  This means I’ve accepted that I will not get back up above 230lbs. I’ve reached my first goal weight.  Now on to my second.  Only 7 pounds. :)

You’re not hungry; you’re bored. It’s not time to eat. Wait until noon, and then we can have green beans and carrots. You always like that. By next wednesday, you’ll weigh around 156 lbs. Who knows, if we eat healthy and don’t go overboard, maybe 155 lbs. So, be quiet. It’s all okay. I’ll take care of you. 

Breakfast:

Watermelon

Lunch:

Peanut butter sandwich, Dr. Pepper

Dinner:

Salad

Work out:

30 jumping jacks

10 crunches

Walk (not sure how far yet)

Dance

I finally hit 110. Went in to see my doctor for a regular check-up. She saw that I came down from 140. Said my BMI was underweight (really?!). I’m wasn’t planning on losing anymore, but she said that if I did, I had to come back and see her.

I still have a considerable amount of arm flab. Hip bones are not apparent. I’m not so dense that I think I’m not thin, but there are definitely healthy, thinner girls out there who aren’t getting fingers wagged at them by their doctors.

Guess it’s time to focus on muscle tone.

picture irrelevant. 

Tomorrow is a very very exciting day!

And now I’m off to work at my grandma’s house from 11 to 4.

Apparently she wants me to drive her to Stop & Shop so she can get groceries, which means she’ll want to go through the Wendy’s drive-thru for lunch. I need to figure out if I can afford to get the chicken nuggets there or if I should stick strictly to the Lean Cuisine I’ve been eating the past few weeks.

When I was younger, I used to never care about my weight. Now, it’s everything to me.

What food is your weakness?

Anything drizzled or covered in chocolate.

Wasn’t TUMBLR friendly. lol

Lunch was a chicken & mushroom pasta n sauce made up with water (free) mixed with a full tin of mushrooms (superfree) & a pint of squash (free.

Kitkat as usual is 5.5syns.

Gonna get home & do my biggest loser workout! Hopefully will be greeting Bob & Jillian like old friends. I won’t want anything too heavy after that so I’m going to oven cook 2 of my garlic & chilli sausages (syn free from Joe’s Sausages our consultant makes a group order every week) and chop them up into a 2 egg omelette (free).

Sorted!

BY THE WAY, some creeper who apparently lives across from the gym congratulated me on how often I’ve been going there :D

Apparently he can see me exercising everyday from his window that faces the gym o.O

Scale came in yesterday and I weighed myself this morning: 146 lbs. That means I’ve lost 6 lbs since my starting weight of 152 lbs. 

I’m not going to lie I’m feeling a little bit disappointed… During the school year I usually weight 147 lbs. I gained 5 lbs when I went home this semester between my brother’s graduation celebrations, my going away celebrations, etc, etc. I feel like I’m just back to the weight I usually am. There was even a point this spring where I was down to 143 lbs. I feel like I won’t be breaking even until I’m back down to 143. There’s no reason I should have put that 10 lbs back on. I never want to put that weight back on again.

Either way… before I got on the scale I was feeling awesome about my figure. I’ve been going to the gym a lot. I haven’t lost 20 lbs over night and I need to understand that is healthy. I want to loss the weight healthy with an exercise program I can keep up with when I go back to school. An hour of gym a day isn’t unreasonable to keep up with during the semester.

I weighed myself before I went to the gym today and after some working out I feel better :D I’m going to keep this up!

Maybe I haven’t lost so much because all the fat has been turning into heavier muscle at the gym :P

even though i only had it for a week and a half, i guess it was a pretty easy habit to get into. :P

i ordered some new ones last night. three different cheap ones. not sure which kind works best for me, and they were seriously around $2 a piece+shipping so it’s not like i have much to lose if any of them break. haha. if all three of them break…well then…i’ll have to think about getting a fancy expensive one i guess. :P

anyway, i think all of them are coming in from out of the country so it’s going to be a while until i get them. ah well, at least we’re getting the treadmill this weekend. 

Until then, think I’m just going to do lots of walking. 

The reason that got me into weight loss this time around was honestly… my boyfriend. I think that’s a great reason beside being healthy. I want to enjoy being healthy with someone I love.

I want to enjoy his company in more ways than just sitting around watching movies but being fit enough to go hiking and enjoy the beautiful world with him and others.

In light of that…

Goal setting:

By the end of the summer I want to…

1. Overhead Press: 50 lbs. This is important to me because I’m so short I need to be able to lift things that are over my head :P Seriously…
2. Chest Press: 100 lbs. I’m already at 62.5!
3. Row: 100 lbs. It seems to keep up with the chest press.
4. Leg Press: 200 lbs.

I don’t think these goals are crazy. I’ll work at them everyday :)

Are you vegan or vegetarian? If so, has this helped you lose weight? If not, would you ever consider turning vegan or vegetarian?

I went vegetarian for like a month and I did lose a lot of weight, but I got sick because I wasn’t doing the whole vegetarian thing right. I eat meat now, but I eat it a lot less frequently. I wouldn’t go veggie again just because I work out so much and I need meat as a source of protein, but I do choose fish or poultry a lot now.

My boyfriend is coming over to see me! We’ve been apart for 5 weeks so it will be so good to be back together, he is only staying Friday - Monday so we don’t have long, but it will be so nice, I keep thinking about it and getting butterflies! SO EXCITED!!! I’m going to pick him up from the airport at 11am!

I need to start planning things to do with him, on Saturday we are going to watch my Dad do a triathlon, the sea swimming element of it is around a big rock with a 1000+ year old castle perched on top of it so that will be all pretty and nice. I want to go for a cycle together as well (exercise AND couple time, excellent!) and just chill and do nice things together.

After he goes on Monday though we won’t see each other for another 5 or 6 weeks :-(

OH and that was what I came on here to ask you all, we are going out for a meal together tomorrow night to my local Indian restaurant, I don’t really know what the best thing to have weight-loss-wise would be, obviously I want to stay away from things like fried rice, naan, and creamy curries like korma and tikka masala, so what would you suggest? I was thinking I’d get tandoori chicken or chicken shashlik and then steal literally 2 spoon fulls of my boyfriend’s boiled rice (the portions are HUGE). What do you think? Does that sound sensible? What do you normally order at an Indian if you’re watching your weight?