How not to Sink a Marriage

by Barbie Kiss

www.mylunakiss.com

MyLunaKiss believe share is caring and we like to share thoughts, views and opinions of others.

Tara Parker-Pope's share's her personal views on how to spot a good marriage.

Tara Parker-Pope was pretty sure her marriage was great. Parker-Pope's husband rarely argued, their careers similar and they shared common interests. According to Pope, things weren't perfect, and they seemed to be humming along in harmony better than most other couples she knew but when their 17-year marriage ended she was the most surprised.

According to Pope, it turns out, though, that the signs of trouble had been there all along, if she only knew what to look for. Instead, Pope was judging her marriage by the wrong standards—which, she has since learned, most of people do. MyLunaKiss says of course because many people tend live in the land of denial!  For more click here.

How to keep the fire burning? Marital Woes

by Luna Lugo for Barbie Kiss

mylunakiss.com

Why is it so difficult for couples to sustain that "love is eternal" look after the honeymoon ends? 

I ask this question of all my married friends and I never get a good answer. I am lucky to be in a passionate and romantic union for more than 10 years.  I know it can be work but if you love your job the work is rewarding and worth the emotional investment.

Maybe it is easier to quip than quiver in marriage because real life and stress sneaks in and steals the innocence and purity of  love? I am amazed at how love between two people can transform and deepen over the years.

I guess it is easy to romanticize your first kiss or first embrace or the first time you heard the words "I love you".  I can recall raw, unedited, pure and innocent emotions with my husband and it still happens. I strongly believe love in a marriage should be magical because of the commitment to spend the rest of your life with one person (hopefully, if not then with someone who is meant for you)

Yes, the daily stresses of married life can get in the way, the kids are a priority, money is a concern, fatigue is a factor, in-laws, it can get quirky at times but true love should not fade into the background ..it should be front and center.

So, I challenge anyone that is married to honestly answer the following questions: (why because life is short and you should spend it in-love not in like)

1. When was the last time you looked at your spouse the same way you did on your wedding day? 
2. When was the last time you held your partner in a long loving embrace? 
3. When was the last time you kissed your spouse with the same tenderness as when you first met? 
4. When was the last time you were alone together without distractions for a long period of time
5. When was the last time you made love with intense passion?

If you can answer more than two of these questions then congrats! If you can't recall the last time any of this happened or you don't feel the same way then perhaps you may want to take some time to reflect.

It is possible to have everlasting love with your spouse and true love does exist.

Love Quotes: 

“I love you, not only for what you are, But for what I am when I am with you.”

 Roy Croft

“The life and love we create is the life and love we live.”

 Leo Buscaglia

Information Source: lovequotes.com

Lowbrow TV Showdown

I was only able to watch the first half hour of Sister Wives last night. It was a little more sad/pathetic than the premiere. Did anyone else watch it? Did anyone else wonder why the 1st sister-wife was trying to move the pregnant (and completely wacko) sister-wife's armoire by herself while the sister-wife the size of Hulk Hogan was just chatting to the camera crew?

 
Did you also wonder why the hell in this day and age she needed that honking armoire in her bedroom anyway? Couldn't Kody have negotiated a flat screen TV for each of his hos when he was making a deal with TLC? He shoulda came to me for legal advice and I woulda hooked a brotha and a sista, sista, & sista up! BTW,  I get all my good contract rider ideas by reading exposed celebrity contracts on thesmokinggun.com. I would have totally plagiarized some Jennifer Lopez diva crap right in that agreement! In fact, I think I have found my true calling.  Legal Rider Writer extraordinaire. Seriously, if you know of any openings, shoot me an e-mail.

Speaking of sad/pathetic, the reason I could not watch the second hour of Sister Wives was because Matt had one hundred percent decided that we were watching Eastbound and Down on HBO at 8:30 and due to the economy sucking we gave up our beloved DVR last year.  I could have went upstairs to our bedroom to watch TLC but we do not have a remote for that TV (I know right?) and there was no way I was going to deal with that scenario and besides Eastbound and Down cracks me up. For those of you who have not seen this show, it is well???? Weird, hysterical, sad, touching,offensive, pathetic, raunchy and definitely R rated.

Here is the best of Kenny Power's, the disgraced and down on his luck ex-baseball star and main character.





This year, he is down in Mexico which is not as funny as last season (in my opinion), but this line cracked me up.


"Christ I didn't know that living in the barrio would be so fucking loud."

My dad has lived in Cozumel for the last 15 years. Matt and I have figured out that even though we can stay at my dad's perfectly comfortable house, his neighbors invariably have a rooster or two or three or a  non-stop barking chihuahua or an unhappy goat or there might be a 16 piece band that plays all night on a trailer in front of his house or the propane sales truck, with its catchy jingle over a loudspeaker, may start making rounds at 6 am or, god forbid, it may be election time and the mayoral campaigning is in full swing or, etc.,  etc., etc.!!!

ARRRRGGGHHHH! I guess he is used to it, but we are frazzled after dealing with that for a week! So now we will only stay at a hotel on the beach away from the never ending noise. Not that we aren't culturally sensitive and not that we don't want to hang with the locals, but why the hell does it have to be so damned loud ALL THE TIME.

Polygamy looks fun

 I just watched that TLC Sister Wives infomercial show, and I am sold. Sign me up. You truly can have it all--- if you have a couple of sister wives to help you take care of business.

Seriously, TLC has put together a pretty rosy picture of polygamy. There was not a prairie dress or child bride to be found.

The only thing I did not really care for was the douchy husband, Cody.

I think he is as smug and slimy as Bill Henrickson.

But Matt is so level-headed and sweet, I think we could make a go of it without him getting all big-headed or growing boy band hair.

So assuming Matt is game, I have picked out my sister wives:

1-- Lorelai Glimore.

I think we could have fun drinking over-sized mugs of coffee and making obscure pop-culture references while folding laundry. I hope she is still friends with Sookie (though I think that Sookie may have her very own show now-- so she may not have time to hang out with us).

2-- Kristin Wiig. She is just so damn funny and since we probably won't be able to afford to go out, we will need her around for some entertainment.

I promise I will only make her do that Lawrence Welk singing-sister act once a day. They did not really touch on it in the TLC show, but according to Big Love, the first wife is the Boss!

3-- and since we are going to be having a lot of fun, talking smack and laughing, we will probably need someone that can cook.

I thought about Paula Dean, but I don't think Matt would go for that.


I thought about Giada.

But then I got worried that she might be too sexy and stir up jealousy issues with me and Lorelai and Kristin. Besides, she strikes me as a Nicky-style trouble maker and honestly, who has time for that?

And Rachel Ray is out of the question for obvious reasons.
(That being that I want to punch her in the face every time that she opens her damn trap).

I just realized that celebrity chefs are all super annoying.

I am out of ideas. Any suggestions??? 

In all seriousness, if given the choice between the polygamist (Browns) and the quiverfull  (Duggars), I would go with the polygamists.

The Duggars scare the crap out of me.

Sometimes you get lucky.

Tomorrow is my anniversary. Matt and I were married on August 20, 2004 in Sin City.

The King officiated, of course.

Reflecting on that time, I'll never forget that Nicky Hilton was married in Las Vegas the very same week as me (which was during the height of all the Hilton Sister Hysteria).

That marriage lasted a whole 3 months.
We were all shocked by the sudden split, of course.

Which got me thinking,   Who else got married in 2004 and are they still married?

Tiger and Elin. (We all know how that worked out).

(no more)

Britney and K-Fed (I was always rooting for those two).

(no more)

Rosie and Kelli (uh, nice shoes?)

(no more)

Jello and Scarecrow (I guess the third times is a charm for her-- they are still married).

Tory and that guy she cheated on.

(no more)

Salman Rushdie and Padma Lakshmi (I had no idea these two were ever married).

(no more)

Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker

(no more-- this week)

Star Jones and Al Reynolds.

(no more)

And, finally for one more still-married couple,

Diane Lane and Josh Brolin

I am thinking that next year for our lucky 7th anniversary we should roll the dice and head back to Vegas! Our odds are looking good : )

The Best Medicine

Update, My friend Lo is participating in the following






and since I like to do what she does, I am too.  The writing prompt is  . . .


"What was your medicine? Write about a time you remember being ill."


I actually wrote this on Saturday before I saw the prompt so I am not sure if it counts. Oh, and it is more rambling then writing but anyway, here goes  . . . .

The Best Medicine

This crazy migraine (?) pinched nerve (?) brain tumor (?) is killing me.


I have some hilarious and unbelievable things to tell you about but I almost in tears from the pain. I can hardly see straight. Nothing is helping me and I am frustrated. 


Luckily I have this.

All snuggled up with this to make me smile.

Matt pulled out the hide-a-bed so I could lie down and watch net-flix through the wii on the big TV in comfort.


Pleasure spiked with (a lot of) pain.

I am watching "Grey Gardens" for about the 15th time. It is so flippin' bizarre. Yet it almost makes me want to wear a sweater or pair of pants around my head.  Edie has some serious style.

I love documentaries. I watched one earlier today called "Herb and Dorothy" about this librarian and her postman husband who have acquired one of the largest minimal/conceptual art collections in the US. Pretty fascinating. Not Edie and Edie fascinating, just regular fascinating.

Reflections on Marriage: The Hormones Edition

I have been super a tiny bit moody lately. You may or may not have noticed this with all my talk of tasering people.  The crappy thing about mood swings is this:  if you are single and want to sulk, or talk to yourself or cry it is really not that big of a deal.  When you share a house, a bed and a  t.v. with someone, your moods affect them.

Women are just hormonal and that is all there is to it.  There is science to back it up.  I once watched this show about a trans-gendererd dude transitioning into a woman.  He said the oddest thing for him was not the boobs and wearing dresses (and presumably lack of penis) but all the crazy mood swings that he/she was having with all the female hormones.  I hear ya trans-gendered dude!! By the way, I wonder if male to female sex change people have phantom penis syndrome.  You know like the amputees get when they lose a limb?? 

So anyway, Matt was telling me last night; "you would be really upset if I was up here in our room sulking and not talking to anyone."  And he is right.  He is right because guys don't do that.  It's a girl thing. It is not personal,  just stay out of the path of my hormonal fogged brain.

Which reminds me of a joke:  If a man speaks in a forest and there is not a woman around to correct him, is he still wrong?

Love that joke.

The good news is that I am making homemade chicken soup (with homemade noodles). I may blog about it if it looks halfway decent.

Oh and you got to  love the guy who will try on silly glasses and let me take pictures of him at the eye-doctor while he patiently waits for me to get my contacts.

He is the best. Even hormones. Thats the secret.

My Husband Breaks it Down. Elementary School Style.

So we still have to put the polyurethane down on the floors.

Last night, Matt informed me that I was all on my own and I need to make it happen.

He has to work and he did the hard part already, blah, blah, blah.

Me:  Do you really think I am qualified for this project?  I am not sure I am comfortable with this responsibility.

Matt:   You can do it, just think of it as your biggest mod-podge project to date. It really is the same thing.

UGHH! I will let you know how it turns out.

UPDATE:  All done!  No biggie. I'll do a before/after post when I get my life back in order.

An Open Letter to Tiger, Jesse James and all other Sex Addicts

Dear "Sex Addicts,"

I don't believe that you have a disease (other than possibly crotch rot). You don't need 12 steps. You don't need anti-depressants. You don't need group therapy. You don't need rehab.

If you are married to a celebrity who is one million times better looking and more talented than you could ever be and you still cheat, you are just stupid.

gross (and stupid)

If you are a married star athlete with a wife 2 young children at home and have tons of girlfriends, you are just selfish.

 gross (and selfish)

Cancer is a disease. Sex addiction = stupidity and selfishness.


Its that simple.



PS: Oh and you do not need to apologize to me, because I do not give a rat's ass what you do.


Update:

Did you see this banner that an anonymous person paid to have flown over the Masters Tournament where Tiger was golfing?

Do you think Jesse James was behind this?  Hee hee.

Those Yahoo Guys are Good

 My  real horoscope from yesterday:

Put down the legal pad and relax that furrow in your brow. The 'new you' needs to do more than just make to-do lists. You need to do some shopping -- for clothes, cosmetics and anything else that will help you make your point. After all, if you're working on inner change and you want the world to see your progress, there's only one way to do it: Make equally stunning outer changes.


Yes, that was my real horoscope yesterday right on my Yahoo home page. 

Let's dissect shall we:

1. Put down the legal pad.  Uh-- big CHECK on that one.  Sure,  I am an attorney and I have oodles of legal pads and real work to do, but that did not stop me from wasting several hours yesterday trying to figure out the intricacies of this whole blogging thing. Yes, that  included a very important 45 minute conference call with Lorraine on the subject matter. 

2.  Relax that furrow in your brow.

Enough said about that. I cant even hide my

furrow with a big ol' smile!

3.  The new 'you' needs to do some shopping  . . . for anything that will help you make your point.  PERFECT.  I often try to prove points through my purchases.  I usually come home from the grocery store and hand Matt a bag and ask him to rummage through it and try to guess how I am feeling.  He is super understanding about stuff like that.

4. If you are working on inner change . . .  Clearly, Yahoo is spying on me through my webcam.-- or maybe they just read my inner change post here. Either way, that  is just creepy. 

5.  you want the world to see your progress. HELL YES I want the world to see my progress,  that is why I am blogging.  A reader from Malaysia stopped by my site the other day. WooHoo  --  Look at ME World!

And FINALLY the last bit of advice/guidance . . .

6. Make equally stunning outer changes. Obviously YAHOO is trying to tell me that I am off to a good start with my new fake pink nails as featured here .  Maybe I should get a tattoo???


I don't normally follow my horoscope, but this one just jumped out at me.  I felt like it was speaking to the new blog-tacular me.

On a serious note, I am having  fun with this whole blog thing.  Don't get me wrong. I want to be deep and introspective and reflective and all that and maybe I will be sometimes.  I am just not sure if that is my style. I had initially imagined writing about the law and politics in my little county-- but I started this blog almost 5 years ago and had only blogged 6 times so I guess that wasn't really a passion for me. So I decided that  I am just going to write about whatever strikes me and  I will see how and where it goes. 


Ciao for now my friends!


PS: I am not sure why my signature jumped up there, but I don't want to try to figure that out.

Reflections on Marriage: Coffee Cup Edition

In all relationships, not just marriage, there are unspoken "rules."  Well I broke the "don't use my coffee cup" rule last night and I knew better. Marriage is about sharing your life with another.  Married people usually share money, kids, a home, a name and their worldly possessions.   In this house, there is one thing that absolutely not shared:  the coffee mug. 

Let me explain. I simply wanted a cup of tea.  After the tea kettle started  screeching, I reached into the cupboard and pulled out the first cup I touched.  It was Matt's coffee mug. 

 This one.

I knew I should have just put it back and got another, and trust me when I tell you that  there is no cup/mug shortage in our house and I am aware that would have been the considerate thing to do.  However, I did not want to expend the energy it would take to lift my arm and put the mug back in the cabinet.

So anyway, I thought I would just casually set the cup on the coffee table and he would not notice right?

He did notice.  He asked "umm, what are you doing?"

Me:  "about what?"

Him:  "why are you using that cup?"

Me: "oh I did not notice I was using your cup."

Him:  "did you notice there are scratches on the bottom, inside the cup."

Me: "that is caused by you stirring your creamer."

Him: "I don't use a spoon"

Me:  "Hey, is this a new 30 Rock or a repeat?"

Oh well. This is a classic example of the mundane things that you have to consider in a relationship: Respect each others' stuff.  R-E-S-P-E-C-T.  No big deal, right?

Of course not. However, it would be a monumental deal, if he ever used this mug.

Hands off pal.

He is too considerate to do such a thing.



Chase has his own mug as well, but he is not as addicted committed  to coffee as we are,  and probably wouldn't care if anyone used his mug for a cup o' tea.

Chase's mug

Chase went to a hippy kindergarten in Boulder.  His class put on a Rainforest Production in which he portrayed a Tony-worthy tree frog.  It was seriously all we talked about for weeks.

There he is left of the baboon?

"Red-eyed tree frog" became a code word we used for years. That explains his mug. What is my point?  Well, duh,  that my son was a cute kindergartner. Oh and whoever said "don't sweat the small stuff" has, obviously,  never shared a house with another human being.